Knsapsack 3hr - Driven and focused. |
Picture this: A running kit set out ready for a runner that more
often than not would have to pack it into a bag for a shorter lunchtime run at
work or away in the drawer because the morning session was missed all together.
Or a foot that was so painful for the first 15min of every day, that it was
feared before bed at night and on top of this hopping out of the car and simply
applying force to stand up was a challenge.
Perhaps though, the planned and carefully executed first four months of the year that had led me to the best running shape I’ve been in would have indicated that the first two sentences would have related to someone else, not me! But they didn’t, it was the battle I was facing for the vast majority of 2015 and at times I was keeping these feelings very close to my chest.
Numbers, goals, races and trends were the focus. I was over analysing
my stats tracking forward to race specific goals for the year and according to
these figures I was on for a good year. That didn’t happen and a combination of
injury, illness, over reaching, stress management, over planning and a lack of
accountability eventually took it’s toll and my year went opposite to the plan.
DNFs, DNSs, missing PBs by massive amounts, a decreased training load, failed
sessions and a drop in motivation/commitment was becoming the norm as well as a
loss in the desire to race.
I struggled throughout the back end of the year with injury, that
was no secret but I kept my feelings towards my running internal, fearing for
some reason that if I spoke about it would be reality, that maybe if I ignored
the feelings they’d go away. They did not.
Bathrust Half - celebrating numbers rather than my actual performance |
Throughout the year my coaching role at UP Coaching had expanded and
I had been coaching client’s on a weekly basis in 2015. Brendan has been very
supportive of me in this role and while I haven’t made as many training days or
session’s as I’d like, my clients have been working well in their individual
programs. I had a good year coaching, learning a great deal, and successfully
assisting clients achieving goals while building my programming theory to suit
a variety of runners from all walks of life. Coaching is and will continue to
be a part of my running journey and at UP Coaching I believe I can continue to assist
my clients as I am constantly reviewing my coaching principles and beliefs
aiming to continue to grow as a coach.
Of late I have slowly but surely became more driven to run for fun
as opposed to Strava, result sheets or training logs. The need for big numbers started
to replace the need for key sessions and runs to either build me physically or
satisfy me emotionally and spiritually. I refocused my thoughts to why I run
and dropped the desire to have the highest log, fastest average pace or most
climb in a week, that all is bullshit anyway.
Hounslow - the starting point for my refocus late in the year. |
Numbers don’t resonate much with me anymore, they have their role to
play but they do not dictate my running like they did. I am trying to be more
intrinsic with my running and drive from within rather than from an external
force. I do not want to look for praise or attention with my running, I simply
want the desire to drive myself to the performance I am capable of and be
satisfied with that. I want my running to be a positive outlet and constructive
aspect of my life, fulfilling me by feeding my competitive nature as well as my
natural instinct to explore.
TVT at Kosci NP - Favourite run of the year. |
Recently I have read books rather than journals, ran in places
rather than races and put less thought into my running than over the last 18
months. wards the end of the year I had a chat with Brendan about my position
as a coach and athlete. We had a good talk about the need for me to have
someone looking over my running and I felt the need to separate my running and
coaching to ensure both were reaching their potential and he was supportive of
my feelings. I have been working with Dave, Ben and Tiger at RunCrew since late
November and the focus is now 6 Foot, no thoughts required just run each
session and rest then recover for the next, a perfect formula. I now have the
accountability and placed the responsibility of my programming with someone
else for the year ahead and I feel great about it in so many ways.
I was lucky to be supported by many great people in 2016, most
importantly Kel my wife (who has had her own battles on top of putting up with
mine), my boys Charley and Beau and our families. Without the support of these
people I would have completely melted myself by the end of the year. I am also part
of a genuine and for the most part honest community of people, runners who run
for fun and enjoyment, competition and achievement and come from all different
backgrounds each adding their own individualism to the mix. I also should
mention Blair here as throughout the year when we had planned to train together
he kept me honest and consistent which
is what I lacked from April on, he had a great year himself and deserved every result
he achieved.
Colour Run Fun |
Inov-8 Australia/Barefootinc. Hammer Nutrition, Mountain Sports and
Sydney Trail Series have all been very supportive of me throughout 2015. I am fortunate
the gear I use and races I compete in are willing to support me and I remain
grateful for what they do for me as an ambassador of their product. I try to
remain authentic and partial when looking at races and gear and will only ever
present my view not someone else’s.
I look forward to another adventure filled year in 2016. Already we
are 11 days down and I have been thinking long and hard about this blog, since
very early in December in fact. I have started, stopped, rewritten, avoided
writing and procrastinated in the process, ironic it seems as that’s what my
running had done since April. I am clear of mind, realistic, full of belief and
newly motivated for the next 12 months of my life and the balance of family,
work and running.
I know this because my house is tidy, my kit are not staying laid
out in the morning and the front door step has a little collection of Inov-8 kicks
building up each week.
STS Kamay - trying but not succeeding but still happy. |
Snow drifts and clear trails at Winburndale Reserve east of Bathurst. |
Hassans Walls - taking time out. |
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